According to the great short-cut-creators for the diction deficient, Wikipedia, a lie is defined as follows…
A lie (also called prevarication, falsehood) is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement, especially with the intention to deceive others
We all know what a lie is. And whether you are lying about how fast you were driving or the location of the missing body in question, lying, in my experience, will eventually catch up to you. When it does, there is always a price to pay…be it the disappointed look from a parent as you enter a ‘time out’ or the desolate stare from your new cellmate, Bubba, as you enter Alcatraz.
In the incredibly below average film, “The Invention of Lying” (filmed in – cue the Bruce Springsteen background music – my hometown of Lowell, MA) they glimpse into a society where lies do not exist. While the movie was a flop, the lesson is clear; a world with total and complete honesty is dysfunctional.
Nonetheless, most people would agree that lying is a ‘bad thing’, but I contend that without some presence of lies in our everyday life, we would not be able to maintain any of our relationships; with family, friends, co-workers …and so on.
“White lies” are usually told in situations that have no serious bearings or consequences. White lies are the things we say just to keep the day moving and avoid unnecessary conflict. White lies work. White lies are good (or was that ‘Greed’? Have to double check with my moral compass, Gordon Gecko.)
Now before I have to fight off the attacks from all of you God-fearing-Bible-quoting purists, let me explain. How many times in a typical day are we “forced” to tell a white lie? Think about it.
Some examples…
“Hey Steve, so sorry I am late for the meeting…but the traffic was just…”
(Right…and by “traffic” do you mean “hangover”?)
“Julie, I love your sweater! So flattering on you.”
(You excitedly state to your boss as she waddles down the hall wearing something that was spawn from the closet of Bill Cosby & Thornton Mellon's Tall and Fat Collection)
“Oh my goodness, your baby is gorgeous!”
(What you really mean is, ‘Where did you find Shrek the 5th? At the orphanage in a Leper colony?) [that one is for the lovely ladies in the LGH MIU]
Just the tip of the lie-ceberg…
“Honey that was a delicious dinner. I’d love some more but I am totally stuffed”
(After being served Central American prison gruel from her cookbook of horror)
“Boy, Bill, young Billy is sure turning out to be one heck of a little ball player,”
(Moments after his kid dropped 3 fly balls and struck out looking 4 times to cost his team the game. Hey Billy, you stink, pal.)
“Ahh, kids, thanks for this beautiful Cat in Hat, glow in the dark bow tie! I will wear this to work tomorrow”
(Sure I will. Sorry kids, truth hurts)
And that is the point. Certain truths will only cause pain and, at the very least, insult the people on the receiving end.
Just last week I forgot to give my wife an important phone message. When asked about it a few days later, I informed her that I did, in fact, tell her about it (when I knew right well I did not). After all, that is just going to cause ME pain and suffering. (Whew, I am so glad she does not read this blog!) Alright, that specific logic may be a little off point, but you know what I mean?
In closing, I am not endorsing anyone taking the stand as a character witness in the Night Strangler trial, but I am preaching that a healthy amount of teensy-weensy-half-truths will surely result in a more happy and harmonious existence.
Just remember, you can’t spell LIFE without L-I-E.
Isn’t that right, Dr. Drew?
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