Guilty Pleasures: Justin Timberlake

A new series for the C.I.B. F. column coming at ya': Guilty Pleasures. I am swallowing my pride, ridding myself of any ego, abandoning any tiny bit of machismo I may possess and laying it out there in the name of (hopeful) comedy.

Let’s begin with a clear definition of a ‘Guilty Pleasure’ so we are all on the same page.

Our good friends at Wikipedia provide us with the following:

“A guilty pleasure is something one enjoys and considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it. The "guilt" involved is sometimes simply fear of others discovering one's lowbrow or otherwise embarrassing tastes. Fashion, video games, music, movies, and junk food can be examples of guilty pleasures"

So with that understood, I am opening up my personal Pandora’s Box of Guilty Pleasures.

Chapter 1: Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake (or JT as I like to “call” him), for you recluses that do not own a television or computer, is an international entertainment sensation. Ten years ago he was a squeaky-dyed-blond-curly-haired-teen-idol that was part of boy band N’Sync. Today, he is an A-list singer, actor, dancer, golfer, comedian, and perhaps the most sought-after man this side of George Clooney.

If you asked me what I thought of Justin Timberlake in 2000, I would have probably responded with a roll of the eyes and some subtle homophobic remark. If you ask me today what I think of him I would likely snap my neck around and giddily respond “Why, is he here???”

Is that wrong? Wait, don’t answer yet.

Let me clarify. Similar to the column I wrote about Tom Brady a couple of years ago, these “man crushes” are in NO WAY sexual in nature. More accurate is that he, like Brady, is like the real life version of Austin Powers; Women want to be with him - Men want to be him.

Just stating an honest fact about myself and, as I outlined in the very beginning, I am completely “guilt” ridden by this feeling.

So, wherein lies the “pleasure”?

In the simplest terms; JT is just a cool dude. Sure his music is good, but it is the more recent accolades he has added to his rockin’ resume which make him “must see TV” in my book.

Just a few examples…

•He hosted sports’ version of the Academy Awards - The ESPY’s - a few years back and was hilarious.

•He has been the most anticipated Saturday Night Live host since Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. (Google: ‘Dick in a Box’ and you will quickly know why.)

•He captured the most memorable moment (as well as Janet Jackson’s right breast) in SuperBowl Halftime History

•Jimmy Fallon & The History of Rap: Parts I, II and III – all You Tube Classics.

•He is a scratch handicap golfer (for your non-golf enthusiasts, that means he is REALLY good and what many of us hackers aspire to be)

•His (rumored) ladies? Britney, Beyoncé, Fergie, Janet (Miss Jackson if your Nasty?), Scarlett, Cameron and The Future Mrs. Sexy Love Sounds, Jennifer Biel. Case closed.


So, while I am admittedly guilty and even slightly weirded out by my fascination, er, I mean interest, in Timberlake, I think I build a fairly compelling case as to why a 37 year old heterosexual, married man with children would be so intrigued?

Sure, I DVR his frequent appearances on Ellen. So what?

Fine, I have seen The Social Network like 8….teen…times.

Regretfully, (and by ‘regretfully’ I mean ‘justifiably’) I yelled at my 5 year old when she accidentally changed the channel during the final ten minutes of Friends with Benefits.

I suppose it is technically possible that I may have taken down a picture from our wedding and replaced it with an 18 x 36” version of his Teen People cover photo. Maybe.

For crying out loud, the man single handedly brought SEXY back to the world!

Go ahead; pass your judgment on me. But, don’t be so quick to…walk away because we all know What Goes Around Comes Around. I just think the guy is someone I may want to hang out with and I am a brave and forthright soul for admitting this to the world.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I just purchased the entire Timberlake Collection of his time on The Micky Mouse Club House.

More guilty pleasures to follow…

P.S. Can I Be Frank?: The Book is hopefully on it's way!