Sorry, Was I snoring?: Sleeping at the hospital

Time for some therapeutic writing folks...it has been a s#!^^% week!

This past week my son needed to be hospitalized due to some complications from an endoscopy.  Long story short, he got very ill after the procedure and our doctor instructed us to take him to Mass General.  After several long hours in the leper colony they call the emergency room we learned he had pancreatitus and a few other gastrointestinal complications.  Bottom line, this is a very painful problem and slow process to heal and he needed to be admitted for a about week (yes, I am writing this during my "down time" before I return).


My wife and I have alternated nights staying with him and it got me thinking just how uncomfortable and awkward it is to sleep at a hospital when you are not the patient.


Allow me to relay my take on the non-patient sleepover experience...


First of all...when is "bedtime"?  Most nights I am an early-to-bed-type guy.  9:00-9:30PM, I am usually in bed watching Dancing with the St....er....I mean...the Celtics Game and drift off fast asleep soon thereafter.  But in the hospital, I feel like I need to be some type of hero to impress upon the nurses and staff that I am on top of things.  Even watching TV seems weird.  I admit that I have been caught several times with my feet on the bed watching reruns of Family Guy and Everybody Loves Raymond...and, guess what, I felt stupid. For some reason it seems like the appropriate activity should be reading the History of Medicine by candlelight.  Why?  I don't need to impress these people.  They are being paid to take care of my child and I am simply the tour guide to make sure he doesn't choke on his I.V. chord (which, by the way, can happen a lot easier than one would think...thanks for distracting me Peter Griffin!) while they are out of the room.


Second, what is the dress code?  I am usually a t-shirt and boxers guy (calm down ladies...take a deep breath and remember I am a married man before you start the sexual imagery) but you can't pull that off in the hospital.  Again, I feel like I should be in flannel pajamas, a robe and night cap like Benjamin Freakin Franklin probably wore to bed!  Why?


Third, why is sleeping a bad thing?  I am a very sound sleeper and, admittedly, have had little issue zonking out in the rickety, lumpy pull-out bed.  Nonetheless, I find that I am frequently jumping up throughout the night like I am some wine-o passed out in an ally that needs to get his bearings  before someone finds me.  Sure, the nurses tell you to "get some rest" but they don't mean it.  They want you to stand a post like you are a marine at Guantanamo Bay (Happy 235th Birthday Marine Corp).


Maybe I am paranoid?  Maybe my senses are just dulled after a long week?  Anyway, I gotta get back to fake reading and unwrap this chord from Frankie's neck....


Have a good day, all!