Welcome!



Welcome to "Can I Be Frank?"

Excited to announce that the blog has now evolved into a BOOK! The first book, Can I Be Frank?: An Auto-BLOG-graphy is now available in print and an eBook. You can purchase the print version for $16.95 (and the eBook for $3.99) at Barnes & Noble and Amazon websites

Click here to purchase Can I Be Frank?: An Auto-BLOG-raphy

A portion of the proceeds from The Auto-BLOG-raphy will be donated to several charities that work to cure Autism and Spinal Muscular Atrophy.

Thank you for reading!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Running for Life


In my typical sarcastic fashion, I once wrote a column titled, ‘Runningis Stupid’. This self-deprecating piece was intended to offer some humor and levity to those dedicated marathoners and day in/day out joggers in our society. I wrote it just over a year ago.
Well, what a difference a year makes, huh?
On Monday, Patriot’s Day in Boston, one of the great traditions in sport took place for the 117th time; The Boston Marathon. But the marathon and the sport of running, in general, will never be the same after what the world witnessed.
At approximately 2:50PM, almost simultaneously, two bomb devices exploded on Boylston Street in Boston's Back Bay, just steps from that historic finish line that so many thousands of runners dream of crossing after grueling months and, sometimes, years of training.
Here are the facts to date…
3 people are dead….including an 8 year old boy.
Hundreds of people are injured.
The city of Boston, and perhaps the nation, is back on high alert.
Winner’s tape is now police tape. That famous finish line is now a crime scene.
The media has provided around the clock coverage. Every leader, official and law officer has weighed in. President Obama has pledged the full force and backing of the White House.
Every person of power and authority is doing all they can to find answers to this senseless act or terror and violence. Those answers will surely come, hopefully sooner than later.
In the wake of the incredible sadness and confusion, we all want answers. Many want justice. Many want vengeance. All of us want peace.
I am in no position to provide any solution or even solace in the midst of this overpowering tragedy, but I can now say with total and utter clarity; running is certainly NOT stupid.
Running is perhaps the purest of all sports. A sport that can be experienced and loved by children at the youngest of ages to our elders in society that refuse to slow down because of a number(just ask 78-year-old marathoner Bill Iffrig who was knocked to the ground by the blast just steps before completing the race). Running and marathoning are as old as mythological Gods and embody the human spirit. A sport of will, determination and self-discipline. A sport that will now forever be tarnished due to the acts of a few.
However, running proved to be the savior in this whole horrific tale. Running, not by just those soulful and dedicated marathoners but also by the fearless first responders, courageous volunteers and innocent bystanders.
With the face of evil in plain sight of literally thousands of joyful participants and spectators, running is what help save lives and rescue our fellow human beings.

As we all witnessed this terror unfold on television we were also seeing bravery, courage and compassion that only times of true emergency and crises are revealed in people’s character. While our beloved police, fire and emergency service professionals leapt to action immediately, as they always do, so did the untrained, the unprepared and, in this case, the exhausted. Thousands of onlookers, confused and scared, almost instantly rose to this unimaginable occasion. Despite the bloodshed and loss of life happening right in front of their eyes during the world’s most famous race, people continued to run.

They ran to help the injured.
They ran to help a child.
They ran to donate blood.
They ran to lend a helping hand even in, perhaps, the darkest and most frightening moments of their lives.
People were running for life. Running to save their own. Running to save others.
Sir Roger Bannister, the first runner to run a sub-4 minute mile, once stated:

"We run, not because we think it is doing us good, but because we enjoy it and cannot help ourselves...The more restricted our society and work become, the more necessary it will be to find some outlet for this craving for freedom. No one can say, 'You must not run faster than this, or jump higher than that.' The human spirit is indomitable."
It is certainly hard to disagree with that last part.

God Bless.

 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Pontiff-icating

Well, it’s Holy Week. Easter is Sunday. And just two weeks ago, a new Pope was elected as head of the Roman Catholic Church; Pope Francis I!

Yes, the new leader of the Church has taken on the name St. Francis of Assisi, the saint most notable for his work with the poor and also for whom yours truly was named after.

When the announcement was made about the new pontiff’s name, my Dad immediately texted me completely elated about the news.

Great day for Frankie (my son) you and Papa (my Dad, also a Francis)” it read.

And while I am fairly certain that the Holy Father did not have the McCabe boys in mind when he chose his new label, I have to admit, I thought it was kind of cool.

But this is not about educating you on Popes, Saints or the history of men named Frank in my family (by the way, there were a few bad ones in the mix…just saying). What got me thinking was what it must be like to be Pope?

Is there a more prestigious title in the humanly world?

As I continued to read up on the new leader of the church I was refreshed with some of the privileges this Holy Roller is entitled to.

For starters…

The Pope is the religious, spiritual and moral leader of over a BILLION people. That’s the United States times 3 and represents the largest religious affiliation in the world. So basically, he can shout out commands to one in every seven people and they might actually listen. How fun would it be to wander around giving ridiculous orders? One word: awesome.

Kneel! Never mind. Sit. No, no, no, Stand! Kiss my ring! Do a hand stand! Jump in that fountain.”

And guess what…some people may do all of those things like a trained monkey.

What else? Oh yeah, the Pope is considered INFALLIBLE. I’ll say it again, INFALLIBLE. Think of all of the trouble you could get out of? No blame….for anything.

“Excuse me, your Excellence, did you spill the orange juice/leave the toilet seat up/murder the Prime Minister?”

“No I certainly did not! And are YOU questioning me?”

“Terribly sorry, your excellence. You are right. It was me. I will go repent now”

“That’s a good idea, my son. And while you are at it, I am running low on Starburst and vodka so why don’t you get to the store for me.”

That, my friends, would be….sweeeeeeet.

As I thought more about all of the perks of the pontiff, I decided to jot down some of the things I would alter (Get it? “alter”. Never mind. Heathens!) if I were Pope Francis I.

(NOTE: if you expect me to renounce canon law or touch on touchy subjects like abortion and gay marriage, think again. Ain’t gonna happen. I got in to enough trouble when I made fun of Barry Manilow…let alone the Church.)

And so…

If I Were Pope….



Sunday Mass

Church is a personal and private experience that means something different to everyone. That said, the Church needs more folks and more funds and unlike many of my loyal subjects, numbers don’t lie (sorry, already getting all ‘Popie’ on you!). So, from this day forward, all churches will now operate a fully functional disco, an open bar (wine only) and a free daycare service open for business each and every Sunday. You wants more peeps in those pews….lighten it up a bit!

Water & Wine

I can just see the advertisement…

Water & Wine, the first Christian-themed water park conveniently located inside the walls of Vatican City! Enjoy our world famous “Pope Rope Swing” ride where Catholics from all corners of the globe are launched into our giant wave pool of Holy Water.

You want to make that next family christening an affair to remember? Bring your kid to the ‘Pope Floats’ baptismal pool!

After a long day on those sacred slides, slide yourself into “Stairway to Heaven”, our Paradise-themed restaurant and bar. Enjoy one of our famous ‘Bishop Burgers’ and delicious glass of our Pope-made wine while our God-fearing Led Zeppelin cover band ‘Peter, Paul and Mary’ bangs out your favorite church turns from yesterday and today. Located in the far end of the park, ‘Stairway to Heaven” is adjacent to the gift shop where you will find such coveted souvenirs as ‘Pope Soap: Cleanse yourself of your sins right in the convenience of your own bath tub!’

Confessions

Catholics love to bear their souls and seek forgiveness from God. Most leave the practice of confession with a lighter heart but often a guilty conscious. Let’s alleviate that bit. I would decree that all confessions end with the priest stating, “I am sure you didn’t mean it. Now go get some ice cream you crazy sinner!”

Lenten Fridays

For you non-Catholics, during the holy season of Lent (40 days leading up to Easter) it is common practice for believers to abstain from eating meat on Fridays. Well, guess who just classified ’bacon’ as 'vegan'? ME! Why? Because I am the pope and I can! Enjoy!

Sex

Sexual relations are forbidden for not only the Pope but all ‘men and women of the cloth’. I would….wait a second…no way….never mind. You almost got me.

But you may imagine what I would do with this rule….at least for this Pope Francis? ;)

Happy Easter!