The Unemployment Chronicles: Pass the Grey Poupon...it's Royal Wedding Week!

The job search has been suspended!

No, I have not found gainful, full time employment, but that will need to be put on hold.  And why?  It's Royal Wedding Week!

Just when I thought I had reached rock bottom in terms of my self-esteem and confidence as a business professional I have stooped to a new low.  I am officially sucked into all of this Royal Wedding-hype like some sick, demented middle aged British shut in.  Truthfully, I have not paid much attention to all the hoopla until the past few days.  I saw the headlines, caught some of the news stories, but I have been on the sidelines in terms of engagement (sorry for the bad pun there).

AND then...last night...it started.  Dateline was running a special on Kate Middleton.  Intrigued?  You betcha!

Maybe it's just that I was tired, bored and nothing else on T.V. that peaked my interest?

Wrong.

Awaken this dreary Monday morning with my usual self-loathing for having no real professional purpose when suddenly I turn on Good Morning America to find it is all-things Royal wedding.  Not sure how much time passed until I realized the shower was running, the kids were downstairs screaming and doing God knows what and  I was totally immersed in Robin Roberts reporting LIVE from jolly old England atop a double-decker bus.

Look in the mirror, slap myself in the face and I attempt to 'man up'.  I switch the channel over to SportsCenter, but, frankly, after about 6 seconds I was tuned back into some OTHER morning talk show discussing the pending nuptials of William and Cate.  I can't fight it.

I ask you, what is wrong with me?

I was completely enthralled with the review of who got invited and who did not? 
Mesmerised by the talk of the procession through London. 
Amazed by all of the planning, the pomp, the circumstance. 
I am loving it!

So, again, what is wrong with me? 

Have I transformed into some sort of "English muffin"?  Morphed into a "Queen" of another color?

I am following EXTRA's Mario Lopez on Twitter to make sure I do not miss one minute of the action. 
I have DVR'ed 7 specials airing simultaneously to guarantee I am on top of all of the Anglo-Saxon-action! 
I just spent 10 minutes arguing with my 4 year old because she wants to watch Little Bear and I  KNOW I am missing great wedding gossip from the ladies of The View!

Anyway, enough time babbling on this foolish blog.  It's almost Tea Time.

Pip, pip, cheerio!
Frank

Fall from Grace

Of all the great jokes, stories, limericks and puns in the history of the world that make us laugh, there is nothing more funny than 'the fall'.  Falls have been the hallmark of untintential hilarity for centuries; and for my money, it still remains the best!

What makes falls so funny?  The shear surprise to both the victim and their witnesses?  The uncertainty of what caused the fall?  The embarrassment that the fall-ie will surely experience in the following minutes?  It really doesn't matter, but I challenge you to find me a human that does not love the sight of another person unexpectedly tumbling to the earth.

On top of that, the sick and demented reality of falls is the sheer lack of compassion expressed by those watching. Admit it, your first instinct is to laugh even if the fall-in-question has caused bodily harm.  Right?  If you answered 'No', you are a liar and I suggest you stop reading and throw yourself in one of those giant puddles that are now forming in the March thaw as pennance.

To make matters worse, the fall could be happening to anyone you know and it is always equally funny!  Your best friend. One of your kids.  Even Grandma.  Sure, we all do the fake "OH NO, ARE YOU OK?" and then run to the person's aid.  But, assuming no real damage has been done....bring on the chuckles!

May sound a bit cold (and I am admittedly one of the clumsiest goofs you will ever meet) but allow me to  relay a true story that remimded me of the comic genius of stumbles...

Very recently I was in attendance of a formal function (no, not the prom!) and witnessed a fabulous fall!  I was casually standing around, sipping a cocktail and enjoying the atmosphere.  I noticed a rather large, (and later I learned, inebriated!) woman approaching with heals as high as the Himalayas.  I noticed she looked a little wabbly and her friend was arm-in-arm with her.  As she closed to about 3 feet of where I was standing....BANG!  Down she goes, right in front of me.  Given my prim-and-proper surroundings, I did not belt out in a belly laugh (not yet anyway), but I did, however, freeze up.  This befallen, buxom beauty was 36 inches from me on the ground flailing like a Galapagos Turle that was tipped on its shell and I just stared.  With her friend's assistance, she quickly rose back up on those mountain high Monolos and limped her way through the crowd.  Embarrased?  Yes.  But, seemingly, OK.

And what do I do, being the mature, sophisticant?  RACE to my closest acquaintance and share the shame!  It was like I was the Village Idiot running through town spreading the good news of our Lord Jesus Christ!

And you know what?  I am fine with that because, as I said in the beginning, FALLS= FUNNY. 

Everytime.

Got a funny fall story - I would love to hear it!

Support for SMA

Today, you will not be getting my usual senseless banter but rather a topic very close to me; Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA)

What is SMA, you ask?

Spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), the number one genetic killer of children under the age of two, is an often fatal disease that destroys the nerves controlling voluntary muscle movement, which affects crawling, walking, head and neck control, and even swallowing.

WHO IS AFFECTED?

• SMA is one of the most prevalent genetic disorders.
• One in every 6,000 babies is born with SMA.
• SMA can strike anyone of any age, race or gender.
• One in every 40 people carries the gene that causes SMA. The child of two carriers has a one in four chance of developing SMA.
• 7.5 million Americans are carriers.
• MA is the number one genetic killer of children under the age of 2.

OK, now you have a general idea about the terrible disease, now let me share a couple of stories.

My personal interest in this illness is that it has afflicted one of the most special people in my life; my nephew Matthew.  Matthew was diagnosed in December of 2009 (December 16 to be exact because you never forget dates like that) at 8 months of age.  Initial reports from specialists was that Matthew may have just a few months to live.  Naturally, our family was devastated, but we pressed on.  My sister and her husband sought out every possible answer to, at the very least, "help" Matthew's condition.  But odds and statistics were not favorable.  Today, we are blessed to report that Matthew is holding his own.   A new medication is showing great signs of improvement and we all do our best to remain hopeful and pray for a miracle.

However, SMA is defeating one of it's very bravest soldiers; Coby Quinn Kulis.  Coby was diagnosed just months after he was born is now only 5 months old. 

During his short life, Coby has been given the very appropriate nickname 'Superman' by his Mom; and he continues to earn that title every day. 

A few weeks ago, it appeared Coby had just days, if not hours, remaining; but he has continued to battle - and in this process he has educated and inspired people across the web. 

You see, Coby's incredibly brave and strong parents, Lori and Dave (whom I have never met) have decided to chronicle Coby's struggle through the most powerful communication tool at our disposal; Facebook.  This decision has allowed hundreds, possibly thousands, of people to gain an understanding, interest, and sympathy for not only Coby, but for SMA.  The buzz around the internet has been just amazing.  In most certainly the darkest hours of their lives, the Kulis family has decided to not only just be great parents, but powerful advocates and spokespeople for this little known disease that is taking lives like Coby's and Matthew's everyday.

On Friday, March 4th, we are excited to be hosting a fundraiser to benefit Families of Spinal Muscular Atrophy (FSMA) - a non-profit organization dedicated to helping these families dealing with these overwhelming and, frankly, unfair circumstances.

 'Shamrocks for SMA' is a St. Patrick's Day-themed event dedicated to raising awareness, compassion and funding; for which this disease so richly deserves.  If you can support this event, my sister, the Kulis' and so many other families would be so very thankful.

Shamrocks for SMA
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Claddagh Pub
399 Canal Street
Lawrence, MA
7:00PM - 2:00AM

http://www.fsma.org/
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/event.php?eid=124210054318829