Relationships with clients can be tough - especially new clients. You spend your days trying to impress, service and up sell them at any opportunity available. Their job is to ensure their boss that they have chosen the best vendor, for the best product/service/, for the best price. If that means they need to be difficult, or even flat out unreasonable, so be it. They are not in business to be your friend.
With that stated, the best customer relationships develop when you break down the office walls and actually make a personal connection with one another. Individuals you regard and trust as friends - whether they are the landscaper or the Fortune 500 - result in your top customers.
To that end, the way to expedite those bonds is taking things out of the office. Chances are you have spent numerous hours (maybe days?) with this person you are selling your products and services. Time to ‘peel the onion’ and discover what lies beneath this person; besides spreadsheets and schematics. Whether you have finally consummated a deal or simply agree to take business away from the board room for a change, you decide it is time to loosen things up.
Hold on to our hats.
The first time you dip into social waters with a client (or prospect); you are willingly entering a new stratosphere. As they say, 'Buyer beware'.
The person you may perceive as Ozzie Nelson (1950s sitcom reference, kids, about a conservative American family) may actually turn out to be more of an Ozzy Osborne (no explanation required here)!
Which Ozzy will you be entertaining?
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| Ozzie Nelson |
Scenario #1 - The Ozzie Nelson
You make plans to meet “Ozzie” at an agreed upon restaurant. Odds are that you have chosen an upscale, yet comfortable, spot to have a few cocktails and an agreeable meal. Upon arrival, you and Ozzie exchange your typical hellos. You both order an alcoholic beverage - but a conservative one. Ozzie has a glass of Merlot and you an Amstel Light. You exchange some pleasantries but in all likelihood you are just talking business in a different environment. The night progresses and things loosen up. The two of you enjoy a nice dinner and conversation. By the end of the evening you learn that each of you has a daughter that takes ballet and your wives both went to the University of Who Gives A Crap. Nonetheless, you have made a connection. You finish the evening, shake hands and part company. Before you walk away, Ozzie casually informs you that your company will be receiving a pending deal very soon.
Good night, Mr. Nelson - say hello to Harriet and boys!
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| Ozzy Osbourne |
Scenario #2 - The Ozzy Osbourne
You stand at the bar sipping a beer. You are intentionally early to ensure you have the restaurant scoped out. Bartender has your corporate credit card in hand, your table is standing ready. Enter your soon to be new best friend; "Ozzy 'Bark at the Moon' Osbourne". Slightly hesitant, but with a cool confidence, Ozzy quickly says hello to you and proceeds to order a double Jack & Gasoline on the rocks. Immediately taken back, you decide to follow suit and order your own Man Juice to let Ozzy that you are a serious business man but can let your proverbial hair down too. Three stiff drinks later you suggest you sit for dinner (truthfully, you need some bread before you yak in the coat room). Almost instantly, Ozzy is like your long lost brother. Sharing inappropriate details about his life, his marriage, his time in juvenile prison. Wisely, you smile and continue to drink at the pace of Wyatt Earp before the standoff at the OK Corral.
Before you know it you are getting the "I love you, mans" from the former Black Sabbath front man. While you are flattered, things are starting to border on surreal and uncomfortable. As dinner concludes you think you see daylight and prepare yourself for the dangerous fantastic voyage that is your commute home. Pump the brakes, my friend, we are just getting started.
As you hit the sidewalk and inhale the fresh night air, you quickly realize that your hopes of simply saying goodnight and getting the hell out of dodge are vanishing. Ozzy suggests another "stop". You guessed it - primitive male heaven - The Gentlemen's Club. Tired, a little tipsy and somewhat weirded out- you quickly respond, "Hell yeah, let's go"! American Express in hand you are already playing out the conversation in your head you are sure to be having to your company controller after he notices a $787.00 expense from the "Pink Pony Club". Regardless, this is all in the name of business - we march on.
Upon arrival at Chateau de Tramp, you quickly peel off $50 for the cover charge. Before you can recover from that, you have already ordered a couple $25 Vodka/Redbulls. Perfect. Prior to your first sip, Ozzy has already vanished into the Champagne Room with Marilyn Mon-Ho and charged it to your tab. Aces. You try to blend in. Sit through a few stage dances. Look at your watch. Nurse another drink in hopes that 'The Prince of Darkness' will be back soon and you can end this mid-life crises bachelor party. An hour later, the man you pray will be your next great white whale of client now returns to the table smelling of cheap rum and even cheaper perfume. You act cool. "What’s up, brother? Good time," you inquire? Suddenly you realize that Ozzy has taken a turn for the worst. Barely coherent and the expression of an alleged serial rapist on his face it dawns on you that you now have the burden of getting this maniac home.
By now it is 1:30AM on a Wednesday and you are 30 miles from home. Ozzy is a cool 50 miles away from his den of iniquity. In the interest of speed, you load him in a taxi and hand the cabbie $4000. "Please, take this guy to 125 Lonely Heart Lane in What-the-Hell-Just-Happened, Mass. Thanks, pal,".
And off he goes.
You jump in your car and take the One-Eye Expressway home and pray for a new tomorrow.
Arrive in your office the next morning after a night aboard the Crazy Train and the phone rings.
"Oh, hey Ozzy!?!"
"Great time last night, man", proclaims the Blizzard of Ozz.
"Yeah...it sure was," you gingerly respond.
"I'll be sending over that purchase order later today. Thanks again for a great time," proclaims an apparent clear minded Ozzy.
Touchdown.
"When we are we doing that again, Ozz-Man, ol buddy, ol pal," you shout.
While both evenings proved successful from a business standpoint, the question remains….which Ozzy would you like to entertain? Dare I ask?
Miss those days! Can't even entertain Ozzie N. in Pharmaceuticals anymore. Great Blog Frank.
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